Bass playing with wife and baby. (Pictures are Included.)
There is a misconception out there about wives and children ruining the careers of passionate musicians and artists.
I grew up thinking it was true. I had seen my dad dash his dreams of musician-hood when he was in his late thirties. He moved his family of four to Coeur d’ Alene, ID and was hired to play in a band that had prospects of being a good gig. It dissolved shortly after and that was his last band. The guitars stayed in their cases most of the time until I was in my early teens. (My dad did give it an honest effort though, made it until I was eight, and my sister four years old.)
I have seen this happen to most of the people I grew up “idolizing” in the small town musical communities I lived in–family is a priority and that is no joke, but do you have to give up your passions to serve them properly?
I am blessed to be able to continue to practice, play consistently, and still attend college at my age (29!). The other perk about my profession is that teaching private lessons and gigging keeps an instrument in my hands while I am working. How could I even start to complain!?
I really want to express the fact that it is possible to continue growth in music and learning with your spouse and child present in your life. They are not two separate deals. Not in my house. My wife enjoys reading (or Netflixing) while I practice and I correlate that to why my newborn son sleeps peacefully while I hash out some of my harder passages on upright bass and guitar for hours on end. You form your surroundings, and when you do it right every one benefits. I don’t have to leave my family to get work done, we are together and that brings joy to my heart. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. So, don’t be disheartened if you fall in love or have a child; the more of your life that you keep, in a positive way, the more your family will respect you.
When my son was born I didn’t want to do anything except stare at him and hold him. When I finally thought about what he might think when he was in his teens and twenties, I figured he would think it was the lamest thing I could do to/for him– “Quit your passions to be a Dad“? No way! Your kid wants you to go out and kick some serious butt all over the place!
The week long break from practicing let my muscles heal and I was stronger than before I left. Here is my boy, EZRA Lee Brown. He is my main man now, also my wife is a bad ass.