Bass playing with wife and baby. (Pictures are Included.)
There is a misconception out there about wives and children ruining the careers of passionate musicians and artists.
I grew up thinking it was true. I had seen my dad dash his dreams of musician-hood when he was in his late thirties. He moved his family of four to Coeur d’ Alene, ID and was hired to play in a band that had prospects of being a good gig. It dissolved shortly after and that was his last band. The guitars stayed in their cases most of the time until I was in my early teens. (My dad did give it an honest effort though, made it until I was eight, and my sister four years old.)
I have seen this happen to most of the people I grew up “idolizing” in the small town musical communities I lived in–family is a priority and that is no joke, but do you have to give up your passions to serve them properly?
I am blessed to be able to continue to practice, play consistently, and still attend college at my age (29!). The other perk about my profession is that teaching private lessons and gigging keeps an instrument in my hands while I am working. How could I even start to complain!?
I really want to express the fact that it is possible to continue growth in music and learning with your spouse and child present in your life. They are not two separate deals. Not in my house. My wife enjoys reading (or Netflixing) while I practice and I correlate that to why my newborn son sleeps peacefully while I hash out some of my harder passages on upright bass and guitar for hours on end. You form your surroundings, and when you do it right every one benefits. I don’t have to leave my family to get work done, we are together and that brings joy to my heart. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. So, don’t be disheartened if you fall in love or have a child; the more of your life that you keep, in a positive way, the more your family will respect you.
When my son was born I didn’t want to do anything except stare at him and hold him. When I finally thought about what he might think when he was in his teens and twenties, I figured he would think it was the lamest thing I could do to/for him– “Quit your passions to be a Dad“? No way! Your kid wants you to go out and kick some serious butt all over the place!
The week long break from practicing let my muscles heal and I was stronger than before I left. Here is my boy, EZRA Lee Brown. He is my main man now, also my wife is a bad ass.
I don’t think it was a matter of giving up a passion but rather making a living and priorities changing. Sometimes it isn’t about fame and fortune, sometimes passion is quiet and doesn’t need an audience to be fulfilled
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I agree, the passion may shift into providing for your family. In Dad’s case, he was able to pick it back up and play with his son, once his son was worthy and could carry a tune! Hahaha!
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What a cutie! Thansk for sharing.
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Thank you! Thank you!
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Here is a link to some wonderful advice from the bass playing community.
http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f30/advice-dads-young-bloods-935176/
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Nice post Parker, great to see you’re still playing! Congrats to you and your kick-ass wife with the addition of Baby Ezra. I have no doubt you’ll be a great dad – you have the instinct. You and I didn’t cross paths much, but I have a very vivid memory of you from Borah school. We were in 5th grade and my little brother Ian had just started Kindergarten. I remember one day some big kids ran by and knocked Ian down. A second later, you were there and picked him right up and set him on his feet and made sure he was okay. That touched my heart and I had an elementary school crush on you from that day on. 🙂 All the best to your new family! Viva la musica!
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Thank you very much Hana, I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement! I have a vague memory of that when you mention it, but I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t told me. Thank you for blessing me with that story!
It is interesting that as a young human you can have integrity and compassion…I would think that “young me” was just aloof but it is encouragement to my soul that I (or any child) would have the capacity to perform good deeds against the grain of what I feel the “norm” might be. I could go on…I am kind of having a moment here… Thank you.
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I recommend checking out these great comments on this online forum: http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f30/advice-dads-young-bloods-935176/
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